Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Deb Johnson

I'm a stay at home mum of two beautiful girls that are currently 6 and 8. Their names are Victoria and Sarah respectively. My older girl had Amanda's boy Aerik in her class last year as a reading buddy to one of her classmates. She recognized him from one of Amanda's Facebook pix.

I met my husband, Tim, at college. We both attended Kemptville College through quirks of fate and soon noticed each other. It was a case of love quickly blossoming. We tried to avoid getting pregnant (ha!) but after I got married to him after 5 years of knowing each other we started trying in earnest. No babies forthcoming. I got testing done, but really fell between cracks of crappy doctors, crappy medical service in Quebec. So, finally declared myself a resident of Ottawa living at my mum's address and went to the Fertility Centre. Finally ended up in the IVF program there. We were successful on first attempt! At 38 y.o. finally I had my first girl to love and hold. She was born Sept 3, 1999. Story about it all here Never really expected to get pregnant again on our own. We'd just started the process for a 2nd round, after 1.5 years of having Sarah in our lives. But what a shock for a 40th birthday present: a double line (actually found out on Victoria Day weekend). My birthday was on June 5th, and that was one 40th birthday party that didn't have the person toasting with champagne/wine. Such a miracle. She was born Jan. 19th (yup, just turned 6). Named her Victoria because yes, I'd done all the work, denied myself the treats, the alcohol, and just said hey, I want to name one daughter Victoria. So, thankfully Tim let me.

We so badly wanted a 3rd baby, and tried hard. But after 3 devastating miscarriages, including one where I needed to go into emergency for an emergency D & C at 11 weeks, finally I accepted it wasn't to be. Very hard, but finally after about a year I could just say it, and not cry about it.

One thing that was a bit hard to accept was the fact that I found out after Vic's birth was that I had bipolar. I'd always been a bit on the wild, crazy side, but this wasn't me. The partying, the staying out past decent hours, the not knowing when to stop drinking, and man, the mood swings. So, thankfully when I seriously considered suicide, got myself to a doctor, and got help. I'm on meds now, and likely will be for the rest of my life. I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist regularly. Thankfully, life is good.

I'm your typical Gemini personality. Easy talking to anyone, always the life of the party, two faces, and very much the talkative person who doesn't keep secrets well. *blush* Yeah, but if people TELL me to keep them I do.

I'm a life-long fan of the Myst novels and games (Myst, Riven, Myst III: EXILE, Myst IV Revelation, and Myst V: End of Ages) I love reading Dr. Kathy Reichs, and Patricia Cornwell novels. Listening to a wide variety of music like Paul Colman, Newsboys, Creed, Live, Linkin Park, Avril Lavigne, and Coldplay, and Theory of a Deadman. Some classical too LOL.

Been blogging since Dec. 2004 on life, thoughts, feelings, and you name it. Whatever strikes my fancy. My strong point is finding out information on the web. I just have a knack for that. :)

An addition as to why I call my own blog Toria's Thoughts. For 4 years now, I've known as Toria in the Myst/Uru community, and in the online game Uru Online: Ages Beyond Myst. Yes, it's a short form of Victoria's name, and just one that I liked, so I decided to use it. It's easier for me to just sign in as "Toria", but hopefully it's clear that Toria = Deb Johnson. :)

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